http://www.oliverburkeman.com/
Burkeman 是个记者,有时引用引用心理学的研究成果,但没把自己打扮成科学家,我觉得挺好的。他的一些文章也很有逗,tongue in cheek,让我一边看一边笑。如 Comparison Proofing 里的一段:
以及: Can men and women ever be "just friends"? Yes. Now please stop asking 里面的一段:Might it not make sense, then, to comparison-proof your own life? This is one good argument for pursuing a long-held eccentric career ambition over something more conventional: if nobody else you know is a gherkin wholesaler, or a goat farmer, you're much less likely to feel gnawed by the sense of not measuring up. It might pay to pick friends with different lifestyles, too. When I hear about successes of friends who are writers, I admit, my happiness is tinged with envy. ("Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little" – Gore Vidal.) But my friend the actor, or my friend the computer programmer? For them, I'm just happy: there's no easy way to compare our achievements, so it never occurs to me to do so. Though there is one way, of course, in which anyone can compare themselves to others. Which is why friends who want to stay friends should never discuss money.
The tips in The Rules (don't call men, let them call you) or its male equivalent, The Game (subtly insult women, so they will try to prove themselves), might "work", in a narrow sense. But so might approaching strangers and asking them to sleep with you, as per the old Russian joke. ("But you'll get slapped if you do that!" "Yes, most of them slap me, but some of them…") Just because a strategy works as a numbers game doesn't mean it gets at anything true about human nature. The Wisconsin study and others suggest that some cross-sex friendships are more platonic, others less so. Some people are more manipulative, others less so. And so, boringly, on. The real harsh reality is that reality isn't always harsh.